The Anachronistic Blogs of two Haughty Individuals
by Baroness Peron
Summary: Deep in the bowels of Myspace dwell the blogs of the elusive Haughty Cakesh...the very embodiment of delightful dysfunction!
1. 07 Jan 06

_Author's Note: I began writing these a little over a year ago—and now I've suddenly realized that, yes, they do count as fan fiction. Thus, I have decided to begin submitting them here. If you like them, drop me a line and I'll let you know where I have the others stashed. Since apparently this site doesn't want me to tell you._

**Jan. 7, 2006**

**What's this? A mission?**

_Current mood: predatory_

It seems we have received orders concerning that atrocity of a woman, Dominatrix Deedra Brewer. Quite so.

We had rather hoped for the opportunity to smite the woman in one on one combat (or two on one combat), but unfortunately our mission is of a somewhat different nature.

It is probably imprudent to list the particulars of our mission on a public blog, so we shall end this entry with a single statement--a message, if you will, do Deedra Brewer:

You're revolting. And we always find a way to have our fun with the revolting--orders or no orders.

Izzykins and Raffiepoo


	2. 08 Jan 06

**Jan. 8, 2006**

**Confusionment**

_Current mood: worried_

Isabella has been acting somewhat strange lately.

All right--she's actually been acting thoroughly psychotic.

She's a bit more absorbed with this Deedra Brewer trollop than I am--while I quite look forward to slaying her hordes of Barbarious Gremlins, Izzy has become rather personal in her attacks on Miss Brewer.

I suppose that is to be expected. She is, after all, Isabella Valentine.

What surprises me the most is her sudden obsession with Miss Brewer's posession of a man-slave. She harps about it constantly, and makes constant harsh comments concerning the trollop's domineering actions. I find it best to keep my mouth shut.

I think that her recent, strange actions are in some way connected to Miss Brewer's "lifestyle choice" as Izzy likes to put it...why, just this morning she poured me a cup of coffee. She went through and folded all my socks on Laundry Day. Yesterday she even offered to give me a massage--I respectfully declined, as when I think of "Isabella" and "massage" in conjunction to each other, I picture her pouncing onto my back and viciously snapping my neck. She pouted. Yes, she actually pouted.

I don't very much like it when Izzy pouts.

I must say that I'm not very fond of these recent developments. She hasn't told me I'm revolting for about four days now. How am I supposed to hurl imperious insults at her when she won't even hurl them at me? Yesterday I called her an impetuous fool and she just smiled and said "That's right, dear". Yes, she said "dear". And then I actually felt slightly guilty. I'm not sure how much more of this I can take.

Today I wanted to have a bit of fun and attempt to murder each other, as we so like to do. Izzy agreed, at first, and then got the most puzzling expression on her face--after which she suggested that we play Monopoly instead. Too shocked to fight against this suggestion, I agreed, and she thoroughly thrashed me. I was rather hoping to see her spring up with maniacal, imperious laughter and do some sort of fancy move with Valentine, but instead she...she...oh it's so horrible. She reached across the table, TRIED TO SHAKE MY HAND, and said something along the lines of "good game". I refused to shake. Instead I kicked her shins under the table. She said "ouch!" and scowled at me (that much I was glad to see), but instead of diving across the table and trying to strangle me, as I'd normally expect she would, she just went and...poured me some more coffee. And didn't even throw it in my face.

I would accept such behavior from one of those silly little girls, like Talim or Sophitia--I would actually even appreciate it--but all it tells me in this situation is that there is something seriously, devastatingly wrong with Isabella.

What's next? Holding hands in public? Telling me that she appreciates me? GIVING ME HUGS!?

This is all that Brewer harlot's doing. It must be. Maybe Izzy equates our relationship with that of Deedra and her man-slave (how could she? I bet that man-slave hasn't knocked Deedra out in his life, the bloody pansy), and wants to break all association with the harlot--or maybe the stress is driving her stark raving mad. Whatever the reason for her behavior, one thing has become desperately clear:

Miss Deedra Brewer is the cause, and she must be eliminated.

Hottiecakes Sorel


End file.
